Quest III

Quelling the panic;
The surge of disquiet-
I call you. 
You're beyond reach.
(In more ways than one,
I think. Suddenly.)

Though that knowledge
Lapped around the fringes 
Of the Utopia I lived in...
It always had, I know now,
Suddenly.

Innundated by that certainty
I allow myself to sink in
To absorb that too-
After all, I'm the one
Who always mopped up each mess
For everyone. 

And while self-pity claws in
And illusions shimmer, shake
And form slivers from irreversible cracks
On my stained glass dreams...

I begin to find sanity.
Hold threatening thunderstorms at bay.
Go deep into the stillness within
Find a catatonic, cathartic me
Assuage a ravished heart. 

And dig me out.

Again. 

30 July, 2012

*********
Quest

Quest Again!

That is why this title :D

Def-i-ance

Of freedom,
Bound within
Acceptance. 

Not, let free
In typecast stereotypes.

I've wondered
Ever so often
What defines me-

The willingness to be me;
Or the obligation otherwise

Answers elude.

Till then I'm bound to be

Free, to be pigeonholed.  

4 March, 2011

Quest(ion)ing

I work with words

Work around them

Turn them inside out,

Sometimes invert them

Within themselves...

Split each one, tear limb from limb

And share their screaming silences

Or their silent laughter

With innocence writ large in confounded

faces

Sometimes, again, with blasé bored shut down faces. 

Sometimes, I see them dancing, hanging playfully

Below the ceiling, creeping in through windows

Where a stray eye streaks out to escape the 

Stifling metaphor that coagulates her brain...

And at question time, I wonder at the looks:

Ask, and eyes vacantly hunt upwards, 

Seeking the selfsame words I tried to give them

Only they indifferently ignored them... :)

And now, I see them, there, tantalizingly hovering

Playing hide and seek, as the questing eyes

Cast upwards...

Quest(ion)ing...

How I love that about them!

31 January, 2012

(Live in Class today :))

Adrift

Misty morning 

Mooring undone 

I drift. 

Wondering, wandering 

No pier in sight, and yet 

Yet, 

Breakers sound, in the distance 

As your call. 

Home. Harbour. A safe berth. I am born again.

2 August, 2011

Nonsensical yet... :)

Pic: Courtesy Google Image Search

Did you call...

... today, and find no answering vibe?
Or, perhaps, that was just a fleeting
Poignant wistful daydream
That chanced upon my wayward wishes
And found one earnest, edgy, longing...

Did you? Or was that something
Someone, somewhere, calling from
A distant memory, suddenly surfacing
After an aeon of indifference?





I wish the haunting of my
Thoughts would cease...
Seize my senses, else, and
Draw them along the tracks
Pencilled in sepia shades
To that place we used to be...

To the fondest nook
Of the softest corner
Of our hearts.
Stupefied by traitorous time
In still, yet, tender talons.

O Love,
Call...


30 July, 2011
Pic: Courtesy Google Image Search :)

She waits...

A doting mother waits

In expectation of a windfall!

She waits...

With a secret joy-

A quiet knowledge,

An earnest prayer

And

Absolute faith!

29 March, 2010 ...

*Conditions Apply

The invitation was clear
In that look we shared;
And mesmerized, we made
That Deal.

And yes, we were, and have been
And still are, all that we could be...

But to each other?
That look, we look, yet again, for it
Hoping against hope...

For when we scripted,
While we enacted...
We overlooked the line
Between lines...

*Conditions Apply




Online, 1 pm, 20 June, 2010

Eternally Timeless

I shall ever be The Outsider.
Looking on, Looking within.
Never to come home.
Never to slip into the warmth
Unaffected, blissfully blithe, bold.
Never to loudly claim possession.
Or gleefully discard with shouts of laughter.

For I may be sure of You, and Me
Us, for sure!
But not the vagrant devil, Time.
How it plays, teases, promises
And then shatters.

Into the space of being-
Of the breath indrawn
Are the million shards of emptiness...
Sent out by time, to hurt into awareness-
The knowledge that I have grown out.
Out, of myself-
To have lost myself.
In time.




9 February, 2010

Revelation

A blade of grass
In the vast paddy field;
The vision within
I had of me.
One, just like tthe other-
Yet standing alone
No hope of grain
To weigh me down
The joyful burden of
Fruition, yet to be mine.

And yet, hope lingered
That I would meet worth
If not grain; why not?
A butterfly's tinsel touch?
Or yet again, a gentle whiff
Of a moonlit breeze.
To tingle, tantalize
Bringing promise of that
I had yearned for!

And when you came,
In the guise of a little
Brown sparrow,
Looking, with your head
Cocked to one side
Quizzical gleam, through
The quiet knowledge reflected deep...

I knew, why I was made-
I knew, felt known, was touched
By your quiet simple knowledge
Why worry about whats and whys
I am me, the blade of grass
Like no other-
Meeting my destiny, the way I should
The way I would
When it unfolded.

Buoyed by a brisk breeze
I swayed, in thanks-
At the quaint brown sparrow...



12 April, 2010

Pic Courtesy - birdsofwestwood.com

Love is in the Air!

Haunting
Gentling
Filling

Spring has come again-

Wafting on the wind
Is that familiar ache-
Of loving and yearning...
That poignant hush
That brings with it a sweetness.

Softly
Meltingly

Hearts meet, hope and build
Nests, in the wildernesses of dreams!
Couched in the same certainty;
The security of togetherness-

Where, yet again, I and you
Meet and melt, into us...
into that circle of completeness...


29 March, 2010


For Devesh and Bindya, and all those in love :) May God keep your nest safe, warm, and loving always :)

Pic. Courtsey: http://www.collecto-mania.com/Circle%20of%20Love/486930.jpg

Meeting Me

The sea calls out to me-
As I walk beside its waves;
Washing away imprints I leave-
Temporal, I know I am, yet still...?

In my arrogance, I wait
And as the tide ebbs-
I walk again, pressing close,

Digging in my heels, causing

Tiny wells and pools-

I gloat, and look in askance
At the sea.
It still calls, unperturbed.
All-knowing.
It calls, mesmerizing,
Melting away my dregs of self.

And I surrender.
As I knew I would.

The sea calls-
As I step in,
From the water's edge...

To meet the endless, limitless me.





15 May 2009

Pic Courtsey: http://thehighsign.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/humoresque153.gif

New Perspectives

Like inky nights
diluted with
pearly moonlight...

Like dry riverbeds
inundated with
rushing waters...

Like sudden stillness
invaded with
thunderous gales...

Or poignant silences
gentled with
murmurs and smiles...

And lack-lustre eyes
moistened with
tears of feeling...


Maybe there's hope for us-
New perspectives
Untold and untried..

Normalcy now,
would be
an achievement.

2 April, '91

***

A re post, to strive and find a muse again:)

Quest, Again...

Into myself
down the

s
t
r
i
n
g
s

that letters form

s
......n
a.
k....
i........
n...
......g

down
weaving in and out
through emotion
feeling

through the
labyrinthine
maze
of experience
in pursuit
of that fleeting
gossamer texture
that,

touching it,


will lend itself
to the bliss of
finding the
pot of gold
at the
rainbow's

e
n
d

.
.
.


I look again
to find

those

w
o
r
d
s





17 March, 2008
***

A re-post, till the quest brings more time and words to share :) :)
Thank you, once again, all of you wonderful people for having dropped in here to read, and share your views. A few more days, and I ought to be myself again, :D!!!

Another post on which I have tried the same nonsense structure :) ....

Your Music

To a Single Rose in a Vase

I see you in the corner-
sylph-like,
breathing an aura of
colour and fragrance
into a large, sparsely furnished room.

Your quiet acceptance and
Your fortitude radiates into me,
and tells me that
despite the chaos my mind
reflects in my

Relationships

Life must go on, and
there must be moments
such as this-
of self revelation
which give a richer
meaning to

Life!

22 June, ‘83

***

Picture: My brother's; worked upon, on Photoshop, very amateurishly, by me!

A Realization!

When silence speaks
A thousand tongues,
My words can speak
But one.

And though my heart can
sense Eternity,
Beating in tandem
with yours-
Why do my eyes seek
And probe
And question?

The Language of Love
Perhaps, is one
I need to understand;
Still

And Still shall I be
I know, when I
Permeate and flow
As water-
As Life.
When I meet you
Where you have always been.

In me.






18 February, '08

***

A re-post :) Just to share again, from the Ones Lost in the Pile :) :)

For Faith

Bridging the gap
With a million thoughts;

Making that leap of Faith
And landing three-legged,
On Love, and Trust and Hope...

Knowing all else shall follow.

It wasn't easy,
Letting go of dogma;
It's harder yet
To stay sane,
Despite Love,
When my heart becomes
A rugged ground-
Raw and Earthy;

Lost in a maze
Of self-recriminations...

Fighting to stay above
The Water;
Fighting to keep the Faith...
Fighting-

In that battleground, called Life,
For me,
Faith is the strongest soldier.

The only one,
Without

The Achilles Heel.



4 February, '08

Yuletide Greetings!

A Very Merry Christmas, all ye who drop in here!!
May All you wish for this yuletide, and all to you, so dear
Be with you, close in your heart, and forever near;
May trouble never darken doorways, and bring to you any fear!!


A wish for you all...


That this yuletide is filled with much joy and cheer
For each one of you, and your families, be they near or far
May Peace reign again, and Goodwill fill every heart!!


And, May God Bless us all...
This Beautiful Day
And Evermore!


Amen!!


25 December, 2008

Picture, courtesy: www.mccullagh.org

At Each Dusk..

At each sunset,
When the day has
Outdone itself to
A brilliant remembrance
At dusk.

At each moon rise,
When night decks
Herself in diamond
Stars, and bathes
In enchanting moonlight:

The heart stops a
Moment;

To feel the magic
And soothe the cares;

To count the blessings
And remember the giving;

To revere the only thing
That matters anymore-

Love.

2 April, '91

***

An old favourite. Also a re-post. :) But sometimes I just like to read this and hope, and hope again, that all will be well. That Love will find a way :)

Pic. Courtsey: pulverblog.pulver.com

Chiaroscuro

I am the light
You say, that has lit up
A life, and blotted out the
Shadows.

A cliché no less,
Am I that, alone?

Be that as it may
Don't shadows sometimes comfort?
In the recesses of their being?
Hide, and warm old
Memories, never letting you forget
The Pain, that intensified
The Joy!

No,
I shall not mouth another
Cliché, in return;
Though perhaps, I'd like to
Think that having your
Shade, and basking in
The Shadow, that is you
Has cooled my fevered existence
And given me that
Space, to hide.

Nay, blend, more like
Blend my light with your shade,
To ripple on, endlessly
Like the chiaroscuro
Playing on the shallow sand
Of the lapping lake, of existence.




26 November, 2008

***
The muse did visit, early 26th, November, but by the time I thought of sharing this one, hell's highway was happening in Mumbai.

Sacrifice

So why does the silk worm spin
Yarns of purity in lustrous strands?
The sole purpose of its existence-
Oozing itself out,
Not for itself, but Never!

Only to serve a higher purpose
At the cost of its own self.

The blade of grass-
That sustains the food chain.

The Ants, zealous, uncomplaining
Disciplined, unquestioning;

Nature and the Lord's many creations,
Except, perhaps, man.

Look around, dear Child:

Do they ask,

Why me?

10 March, 2008