In Retrospect

Wallowing in time...
That brings back breaths
Of aeons past-
You prompt. You jolt.
I realize. And regret.
At the brilliant needlepoint
Of pain, accrued, in blue,
Sometimes red.
Bled cold with each pin-prick
In crafting this
Unforgiving image of my undoing,

If only there was time
To go back, before
Meeting unnamed destinies-
Time to undo that intricate
Weave, and weft, and warp
Of pain-
Undo, thread by painful
Thread, all my inconsistenties
My selfishnesses, thrust upon you-

A reprieve- at least, this day
I glimpse anew, that design
Of regret-
Knowing, absorbing,
Seeking and receiving
Your forgiveness.

Framed in acceptance,
Kept aside, with quietude-
Only to peek, when again
I may falter...
To guide, when I may lose
Myself, yet again,
Subjugated by insidious
Webs of duties that tie me down.

To seek strength, knowing
That I shall not, again,
Craft, of myself, another such
Mosaic of regret and pain.


25 September, 2011

She waits...

A doting mother waits

In expectation of a windfall!

She waits...

With a secret joy-

A quiet knowledge,

An earnest prayer

And

Absolute faith!

29 March, 2010 ...

She

She comes resplendent-

To live her nine days;

In benediction, in grace!

To remind us-

And that demon within;

There is succor; If you seek.

There is hope; Should you despair.

There is penance; Is there none who does not sin?

There is life; For it triumphs even death, through the soul.

A moment’s realization

Is enough-

A penitent thought

Can find you a place

Far higher than kings!

A kind deed

Will pay you more than the

Richest man’s coffers.

She comes with this brightness;

This breathtaking promise!

And yet, each year,

We send her back;

After patronizing Her

Those nine days-

Like a guest overstaying Her welcome-

Foolish us!

Relieved She has left.

We become animals again!

Forgetting, She can never leave-

She stays, unacknowledged:

In wait, within us.

We may leave,

But She never can!

26, October, ‘07

Picture courtesy: Google images,

funmunch.com

The King Returns...

Long ago, in days of yore
A mighty yoke Mahabali bore

'Twas none but ability, grace and compassion
Which urged denizens of upper echelons to bash 'em

So they set out with plans afoot
A little boy, his grace to loot!

So Mighty was he, the King
'Twasn't easy his neck to wring...

With teasing irony, and gentle demand
The boy, a mere God, asked three paces of land!

All-knowing, more wise, the King relents
(His Guru's pleas while he rejects)

Thus proving, in his gesture, who was more generous
Leaving the said denizens of Heaven, looking preposterous!

Thus blessed, and granted his wish, forever more
He graces this day, Thiruvonam, so goes the lore

To bask in his country's pleasure, the love of his people
Hopefully, he's not disappointed, with response, feeble

While his erstwhile countrymen lol about, placid
With a full tank of alchohol, smelling rancid.

Still, some, like me, foolish perhaps, but filled with anticipation
Still await his visit, with bated breath, with happy fascination

For in a little child's eyes, we see, hope yet, love yet, joy yet
And that in itself, a season to celebrate, will be our best bet!







Online, 21 August, 2010


*************

Happy Onam everyone :) May the season's best dog you right through this Onam :)

Edited to add, 1800 hrs: Well I took it for granted that the story of King Mahabali must be a familiar one; and then realized that it may not be so :) You see, legend has it that Onam is celebrated to welcome King Mahabali, who once ruled this place, in which Kerala now stands, who was sent to the Patala (the lower areas of Hell) by none other than Lord Vishnu who came disguised as Vamana, a young small brahmin boy. King Mahabali was just, fair, a noble King, and utterly generous, but bordering on being a mighty king. So the devas decided that must not be so, and with the help of Lord Vishnu, ensured that his generosity would stall his plans. The young brahmin boy asks for just three paces of land, and being granted so, takes the Earth and Heavens, in two and asks where he might place his third step. King Mahabali offers his head, and is then pushed to the Patala, before which he is granted the wish that he be allowed a day to visit and mingle with his countrymen, once in a year. And so Onam celebrates this great King's return!

Love is in the Air!

Haunting
Gentling
Filling

Spring has come again-

Wafting on the wind
Is that familiar ache-
Of loving and yearning...
That poignant hush
That brings with it a sweetness.

Softly
Meltingly

Hearts meet, hope and build
Nests, in the wildernesses of dreams!
Couched in the same certainty;
The security of togetherness-

Where, yet again, I and you
Meet and melt, into us...
into that circle of completeness...


29 March, 2010


For Devesh and Bindya, and all those in love :) May God keep your nest safe, warm, and loving always :)

Pic. Courtsey: http://www.collecto-mania.com/Circle%20of%20Love/486930.jpg

Life... less

If life this be...
Endless yet tunnelled
Into a claustrophobic
Vortex of existence;

Am I?
Or better yet...

Will I ever be?

The cranium floods
With nerve ends tingling
Arcs over synapses
Tingling
Tingling...

Terrifying me.

Life, I must admit
Shall be
My undoing.





Online, on a silly line of thought :)
13 September, 2009

Words, for you and you… :)

Words when I want them
Wander away, whisper softer
Wait on the edge of the consciousness
Wanton in their wisdom
Waiting – for me to walk away!

Not today, I cannot-
I assert.
Oh? They look knowingly;
Knowing this day I’d want to
Knowing I have to-
Knowing something more,
As they always do, more,
Than I can fathom, of myself.

So today, I clench my quill
While the words wiggle their brows
Dancing playfully, around the
Pot of ink, wherein are the
Notes I must play, and let sing
Through spidery scrawls and lines-
My thoughts – nay… their notions.
The Words, I mean!

Yet today, my heart burgeons
With blessing and benediction
For I know such ones
Who, though they say not,
And stay not – will ever be with me.

To them, I write.
Of them, I write.
Today.

Waves of warmth she brings-
Guileless and gullible
Oh so innocently so!
Dramatic flair, a dreamy person
Dauntless in her beliefs,
Mature in her meditations
A darling, ever!
Daughter of my soul
And comrade of my heart
For you, this paean my dear
For you…
Keep safe! And stay the same!
Miss you, dear Sashu!

And another- seemingly of my childhood
My youth- my every yesterday
That came into a today
As a sudden burst of stardust!

As a quirky angel, shaking her mane
Dispensing the glitter of her words-
Frolicking, gambolling words
That she sets rolling, as only she can-
Streaming smiles, splendrously,
Sashaying through reams and dreams-
Unstoppable, indomitable, her spirit
Inviolate the purity of her notions
And unguarded, her heart-
Ready to reach out
Envelop and cosset;

A true lioness, no less is she
Never a dull moment – they all, but flee
In the sunny warmth of her this gurl, - Meggie
Who, by now, will probably be rolling – hehehe… :D!

For, in the words she writes
In the laughter she shares
Ins the feelings she inspires

Not just her kids at school,
But us too, are touched by her Grace
Learn much, in simple wisdom
Question, search and seek to know!

That alone, sets her apart-
As a rare jewel, the rarest yet
The beauty with the brains (Lol!)
The one who can take it all (to rhyme with Lol!)
And hand it right back
With a laugh, a giggle and
A Charming Smile!

Happy Birthday, dear Indygurl
May God Bless you infinitely!!

31 July, 2009

****
I miss Sashu, and I just wanted to share that here :)
Also, a round of Wondrous Birthday Wishes, for another special person.. Indyeah! Reading her latest post, just this moment, makes me realize nothing and no one quite compare with the sterling qualities this young lady envinces. Way to go Indygurl :) Solilo, you beat me to it though :)

And finally, this is a tentative foray into this sphere again... for as long as I can... :)

A Full Circle!

The first time we met,
Didn’t seem that way!

A lifetime before,
Surely…!
But how does
The time elapsed
seem so little?

How we seemed
to just pick up
from where we
left off-

When Fate perhaps
dealt a heavy hand-
That we found difficult
to play!

And so, the Carousel
stops here, this lifetime-
And we meet – again.

Funny, isn’t it?
How life always
comes round-
A full circle!



7 October, ‘07

***
Sort of connected mildly to the earlier post :) Something that came as a sort of sequel, if you wish :)

Grief

How could Fate
have been so cruel?
I wondered...

Not for myself
but for them,
Who so devoutedly
gave of themselves
and asked only
for blessings in
return,
not for themselves
but for their own.

How could this be?

There are no answers,
some said sagely;
Things have a way
of happening,
others said, knowingly.

Neat, ambiguous answers
to console the
grieving hearts
whose pain is
the only unresolved
undissolved,
resolute and
undying residue
within.

How can one ever
console them?

Even He cannot,
then who am I to
even try?



20 April, '02

****

A re-post. Just thought of this, after a visit to a family bereaved of their mother, who passed on, peacefully at the age of 90+. The time spent there, was filled with touching moments of grief, really, in the way all her grown up children, grand children and great grand children were moved beyond words with grief. There was peace, and there was grief, each in its proper place. But sometimes I wonder. I always have...
Ever since, that day, I have been wanting to repost this, just to share...

You...

just a couple of weary shells
on a lonely beach.
a couple of tired purposeless
shells.

till a grain of a fraction of
the golden sun
slipped between.

the pain started; endured
and crystallized as a drop of
tear

into a liquid opaque milky
pearl.

a beginning with you.
a realization of beauty.

my empty lifeless eyes
fill with tears....

17 March, '84

***

Re-post, again :)

Edited to add:

If you'd like to have a personalized signature like this, do visit this

webpage

It's simple. :)

Tinkles

Tinkles, felt like rippling
water-
Those intrinsic movements
that flow into each other
unhesitatingly
with such
lucidity
in dream-like flash...

Soothing sounds like
gentle waves lapping cool
around the ankles, leading
to a euphoria;

so sudden as a fresh spray
of
tangy water;
like a breathless gasp
in a cold shower.

4 October, '83

A Realization!

When silence speaks
A thousand tongues,
My words can speak
But one.

And though my heart can
sense Eternity,
Beating in tandem
with yours-
Why do my eyes seek
And probe
And question?

The Language of Love
Perhaps, is one
I need to understand;
Still

And Still shall I be
I know, when I
Permeate and flow
As water-
As Life.
When I meet you
Where you have always been.

In me.






18 February, '08

***

A re-post :) Just to share again, from the Ones Lost in the Pile :) :)

Daughter Dear!

And one day

I was blessed
With a daughter dear!

Delightful darling!
She grew up too fast!

And today she stands
A bedecked, beautiful bride.

The sweetest smile;
Shy, and yet, that
Mischievous look,
When she raises her eyes!

Exchanging vows-
Oh my, my baby,
Now a wife!

A tear falls-
Hers, in mine.

No matter that
She now weds;

I'll always be blessed
With this daughter dear!


22 September,'07

***

As I have mentioned before, no, I do not have my very own daughter :) But the ways of the world are strange and blessed; found myself given the gift of at least two daughters...who I know ought to have been mine :) And so, they are :) :)

No, this verse does not subscribe to the theory of a mother losing her daughter at her marriage; rather this celebrates the occasion of her having found someone, (really :)), and our happiness. Dear One, S, I am so happy for you... cannot really tell you how much! May you be blessed to be together as peas in a pod :) :)

This also is to share my anguish over what is happening to Mother India's Daughters by those who have appointed themselves guardians of her Morality! Foolish men, who know not, the meaning of that word, of that succor that comes from a woman, their mother, sister, wife, daughter, friend!

Daughters dear, do not give up believing in yourselves

Do not lose the faith, that you are in every way equal

Do not cower in the face of brutalities of the real cowards

Daughters dear, men are, because you are!

Bless you!!

For Faith

Bridging the gap
With a million thoughts;

Making that leap of Faith
And landing three-legged,
On Love, and Trust and Hope...

Knowing all else shall follow.

It wasn't easy,
Letting go of dogma;
It's harder yet
To stay sane,
Despite Love,
When my heart becomes
A rugged ground-
Raw and Earthy;

Lost in a maze
Of self-recriminations...

Fighting to stay above
The Water;
Fighting to keep the Faith...
Fighting-

In that battleground, called Life,
For me,
Faith is the strongest soldier.

The only one,
Without

The Achilles Heel.



4 February, '08